


Here, Kitty Kitty

by QueenOfTheQuill



Series: Your Candle in the Dark, Your Family and Your Spark [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Catvengers, Crack, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Mama Darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheQuill/pseuds/QueenOfTheQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy knows the secret of the Avengers. She's finally figured it out. Sometimes, she just has to congratulate herself on her pure genius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here, Kitty Kitty

**Author's Note:**

> You wanna know what my brain told me at 1:30 in the morning last night? "THE AVENGERS ARE CATS, NOW WRITE THIS!" So I did. And it's so fluffy!

Sam Wilson was a good bro. He would tag team with Darcy whenever any of the Avengers needed the extra push and she was glad there was finally someone in the Tower even sort of qualified to deal with the varying degrees of baggage. She could get people to open up, sure, but a lot of her advice was just shots in the dark. Now, she asked Sam for help if she knew she had to tackle Steve’s PTSD or Natasha’s guilt or Thor’s _massive_ family issues.

 

Besides that, Darcy liked hanging out with Sam. He was fun. When he wasn’t being the Dad to her Mom, he was a smart, funny, and charismatic friend.

 

Which is why he wasn’t even fazed when she stalked into the common kitchen, threw herself in a chair, and announced. “I have come to the conclusion that, with the exception of Thor, the Avengers are cats.”

 

Sam just looked up from his newspaper, blinked once, and asked “So what’s Thor?”

 

“A puppy.” Darcy nodded decisively.

 

“And how did you come to this conclusion?”

 

“Ok, no, just think about it. Tony is the incredibly vain one that walks over like ‘hey, pet me,’ but walks away and makes you work for it, then sits on your keyboard when you ignore him.”

 

“That- why is that so accurate?”

 

“I know right?!” Darcy waved her hands in the air. “Continuing: Nat is the one that you can never find, but then all of a sudden, you look up from your cornflakes and she’s just _there_ , watching you. Clint is the one that sits on your chest to wake you up, makes ridiculous jumps across the counters to sit on top of the kitchen cabinets and chases the lasers and the feathery cat toys. Steve is a tiny, patriotic kitten, but turns into a total battle scarred tomcat when somebody gets threatened. You know, the ones that hide in the alleys and jump out, yowling whenever you walk past? Bruce is the epitome of cat mood swings, when they’re all like ‘I totally love you, let’s snuggle!’ one minute and turning your arm into a scratching post the next. It can even be extended to Loki, because he’s the one that leaves dead mice in your shoes and is the reason there’s a book called _How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You._ ”

 

Sam nodded, leaning towards her. “This actually makes so much sense. And Thor’s too loud and energetic to be a cat, so he’s a puppy.”

 

“Probably a Golden Lab.”

 

There was silence for a few minutes, then-

 

“Do you think I could get Steve to draw this?”

 

“I don’t know, but I bet I could bribe him with something.”

 

“New art supplies?”

 

“Probably.”

 

“I’ll get my purse if you go get a car.”

  
“Deal.”


End file.
